{"id":581,"date":"2018-06-04T11:00:56","date_gmt":"2018-06-04T09:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/how-to-write-a-horrible-job-description\/"},"modified":"2019-06-18T16:55:15","modified_gmt":"2019-06-18T14:55:15","slug":"how-to-write-a-horrible-job-description","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/how-to-write-a-horrible-job-description\/","title":{"rendered":"How to write a horrible job description"},"content":{"rendered":"

WARNING:<\/strong> if you’re a recruiter who lacks a sense of humour than this article isn’t for you. We created this guide to help you realise some of the mistakes you may be doing using reverse psychology.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

First, a quick reminder, a job description\u2019s chief purpose is NOT to outline the primary duties and responsibilities that are involved in a particular job. Job descriptions shouldn’t be based on thorough job analysis and should in themselves be as brief and factual as possible. You can find them on many websites, social media job ads and if you\u2019re old school, in newspapers. In few bullet points, we will advise you on how to discourage potential employees from applying and becoming part of the team! Thanks to that, your career website will run faster, due to lower load and you would save so much by avoiding new hires! Moving on\u2026 Writing a bad job description is hard work, so here are some tips to help you achieve your goals:<\/p>\n

An inaccurate gibberish filled job title!\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

The job title must always be misleading! It shouldn\u2019t give an idea of real duties and tasks that the candidate will be performing.
\n-Example of a revealing and accurate job title: junior accountant, HR manager or director\u2019s assistant.<\/p>\n

Sounds boring, right? Everyone that sees it will get an idea of what the job will be about and no-will be surprised or confused by looking at it.
\n-Example of exciting job titles: Pokeball coach, unicorn\u2019s manager or rockstar java\u00a0programmer<\/p>\n

Much better, right? The benefits from this are that no qualified candidate will be sending his CV + your HR team will get to look like a bunch of idiots. Be ready for the avalanche of CVs!<\/p>\n

Write about the subordinate tasks and forget about the primary functions<\/span><\/h2>\n

Primary responsibilities are so easy to guess, don\u2019t waste your time mentioning them and describing them in details. If your candidate cannot imagine his main tasks in the advertised position, it means just one thing. That person is not good enough for your company! Sorry, not so sorry.<\/p>\n

Here are a few examples of some excellent descriptions:<\/p>\n

-teacher: \u201cTalk while students sleep\u201d<\/p>\n

-accountant: \u201cTake numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on\u00a0different pieces of paper\u201d<\/p>\n

-driver: \u201cSpend most of the day looking out the window\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t hold yourself back, when writing about required skills and qualifications\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Kids are so smart nowadays; your purple unicorn is right around the corner\u2026\u00a0Your potential employee should know a lot and have many certificates to prove it.<\/p>\n

-Foreign languages? At least 5!<\/p>\n

-Programming? At least in 3 different languages!<\/p>\n

-Training courses? Every weekend!<\/p>\n

-Soft skills? All of them!<\/p>\n

-University degrees? At least 4, but from completely different faculties!<\/p>\n

Of course, feel free to add some more.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget, that it\u2019s a waste of time and money to let your employee learn at work. If he or she doesn\u2019t know it before employment, it means that person won\u2019t be able to cope with the tasks at your company.
\n\"when<\/p>\n

There is no need to mention the location of your company.\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

You can provide the address of your company on the first day of work. I mean your candidates don\u2019t care as they\u2019re always excited about riding the bus or tube to work! Public transport continues to be cheap, fast and never crowded. They also have the right to see where their taxes are being spent. From time to time it’s nice to have an hour just for yourself on the bus.<\/p>\n

Focus on your company\u2019s history<\/span><\/h2>\n

Every candidate wants to know when the company was established and how it grew\u00a0over the years. The future is overrated. It is not important for anyone to know what are\u00a0the targets to complete and plans for the future. Everyone needs a break from the\u00a0growth. Let\u2019s slow down a bit and recollect about the beautiful past and the company\u2019s culture.<\/p>\n

Benefits, and by that I mean gym card, maternity leave and other extras employees don\u2019t need\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

A company doesn\u2019t hire you to work out or give birth to kids. Slow down, you just need to work here, and that\u2019s it. You don\u2019t need to give us further dissatisfaction and\u00a0jealousy from your shaped body or showing us pictures of your newborn.<\/p>\n

Relationships<\/span><\/h2>\n

Love affairs and melodrama? Not exactly. I mean, that can happen, but there\u2019s no need to talk about that in the job description. By relationship we mean, who\u2019s your boss and who\u2019s your boss\u2019s boss. But you shouldn\u2019t describe it. The candidate should do his research and learn it by himself.<\/p>\n

When Summer approaches.<\/span><\/h2>\n

The main topic in the company\u2019s corridors is going to be about their summer holidays destinations. When you hire, most of the people are for sure curious to know how many days per year they can slack off on. Just don\u2019t write about it… Be more creative, than to mention the typical \u201c21 days per year\u201d.<\/p>\n

Try to use business jargon.<\/span><\/h2>\n

Young people are using slang all the time. Maybe it\u2019s time for you to knock all the youngsters out. For the first time, they won\u2019t understand you. Don\u2019t miss the chance!<\/p>\n

Nowadays teenagers and young adults are depressed and sad.<\/span><\/h2>\n

That\u2019s why in your job description you should try to add a bit of negativity and anti-motivational expressions.<\/p>\n

Everyone wants to be a rebel.<\/span><\/h2>\n

I can imagine, that when you get older, it\u2019s even more challenging to be one. Especially when you\u2019re working in the human resources department. So, here\u2019s a bit of a piece of advice, but only if you want to go back to your teenage years and the good times when you were going to the hard rock concerts. The tip is, to be a rebel recruiter, write messy job descriptions and act crazy with candidates. You\u2019ll feel young and chaotic again thus you\u2019ll be happy.<\/p>\n

So To sum up, if you wish to fail at recruiting follow the steps above and your wish will be granted. A job description is a representation of your company and part of your employer\u2019s branding, and thanks to these tips you will for sure ruin them and get fired.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WARNING: if you’re a recruiter who lacks a sense of humour than this article isn’t for you. We created this guide to help you realise some of the mistakes you may be doing using reverse psychology.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2620,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"ub_ctt_via":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/how-to-write-a-job-description.png","author_info":{"display_name":"monkey-theatre","author_link":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/author\/monkey-theatre\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=581"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/581\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2620"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.in-recruiting.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}